Who am I kidding?

Ugh~

Dear Eskimo,

Dear Eskimo cat,

I hope you are doing better by now. I know a massive operation such as fixing up your hernia must be unbearable for such a tiny baby like you. Oreo is missing you terribly. He is very sad that he does not eat as much, sleep as much and he does not even go for poopoo since yesterday. He misses you so much that he hugs our white-coloured bulu ayam every night since you are gone. You better get well very very soon because life at home without you, Eskimo, is never the same. It feels so empty and quiet because you are one very funny and imaginative cat since you were tiny.

nakalnya budak ni

muka bosan

mengerjakan si Oreo

When I first noticed a small bump on your tummy, I didn't know what that is. From day to day, it grew bigger and when I took you to the vet, and then we found out that you have a hole in your tummy that your insides were coming out from that hole, hence the bump. Now we have decided to tuck all your insides into your tummy and stitch the evil hole back. That must be painful, but I know you are one strong baby.

1st December will be our 5 months together Eskimo cat, and 4 months with Oreo. I adopted you on July 1st this year and my life has forever changed. I became a new person, Eskimo cat. You were very very tiny when I took you in, I fell in love right away with you when I first saw your face. You were so funny and adorable and you were very obedient despite the fact that you are deaf. When you sleep, you look like an angel, undisturbed by the horrifying sounds from the vacuum cleaner. You don’t mind the terrible sound my hair dryer made when I dried you off after bath. You took Oreo in with open arms and since then both of you have become the bestest friend, the Yin and Yang. You also helped Oreo through the difficult time he was having before he was sent for neutering.

Your unique eyes draw everyone’s attention to you. Every where you go, people will notice your eyes. Did you know when you were small your left eyes were blue? Now it has turned whitish. I love it Eskimo when you snuggle up to me every night. You sleep on my chest and Oreo curls up near my feet.

It’s been three days now since you are away at the vet. I know Dr. Intan and En. Hadzwan will take very good care of you. But we miss you so much. I’ll pick you up tomorrow baby cempedak! (Can't believe you have reached 3.7kg at the age of 7 months) We shall be one happy family again! ^^

cempedak tak bergoreng yang obese

Honey baby, I feel sorry for you...

And here we go. There are some people who are most likely to feel offended by what you say although you'd never have the slightest intention to do so. These people seem to be hearing all the nastiest bisikan syaitons, notwithstanding.

Simple SMS text with a well-meaning tone might be interpreted as cynical. You then get a reply, 'yelah yelah sapa lah aku kan'

A benevolent gesture might be interpreted as harmful and of malicious.

A friendly help might be implied detrimental.

A friend forgets to say 'Hi' because her head is full with the never-ending tasks from work incriminated as ignorant, selfish, snobbish and so on.

KEYWORD: Interpret, connote, imply, incriminate.

Can you mothereffers be much more appreciative of people around you? I am tired of taking extra precautions talking to your gentle fragile heart. Whatever I said or I did was wrong to your eyes simply when it did not meet your 'expectations'. You interpret, connote, imply, incriminate others like no one's business.

Don't you know that the world does not circle around you for once? Oh of course not, because you are too busy fighting with your boyfriend because of the wrong 'tone' he was using in...sms text? Like, huh? You read it the way you want to read it for god sake. You see what you wanna see. If pain you are looking for, pain is what you get.

From your lovely Alice-in-wonderland world, people around you are expected to treat you like a princess. To say 'Hi' all the time to you, to always peluk manja your delicate feelings, to ask if you have eaten or not, to ask about your day eventhough you had never do the same to others.

These are the type of people who never really go out from their flyspeck world, adding to the injury, with a comfortable support from family. These are the people who never spent their money buying their own goddamn washing machine. These are those who are self-claimed family-persons when the truth are you are just DEPENDENT MOTHEREFFERS who whine a lot and never be thankful for anything. I dare not say that these people are stupid because most of them are highly successful people. There's just something wrong with their brain processor that they defy all the logical thoughts to resort on inward emotional comfort.

Im sick of you all, mothereffers. When you said byebye to us, it was a good riddance. Everything after you is sweet like this D'aim chocolate I'm having right now.

Hm.

One day I am going to be as intellectual as Farish Noor,

as articulate as Karim Raslan.

Maybe I should stop pestering on other people's profiles on Facebook and playing Angry Birds and drawing nonsense.

Maybe I should continue my readings. Read books the way I used to read back then.

Why can't I find the time to read nowadays, damit?

My secret

I fall in love at the first sight (hearing?) with Anna Ternheim

Today must have been one of the strangest days
Some would say that you won't find love that way
The best days are not planned by common sense
By lack of time
You just happen to be where everything feels fine

It's a new secret I have found
It's a new secret I have found
It's a new secret I have found
It's a new secret I have found

Today must have been one of the strangest days
I found a place where I could stay
And people say that it will kill me,
But they don't understand
People never do, but it makes sense to me
To be senseless to change my plans for you

It's a new secret I have found

It's a new secret I have found
It's a new secret I have found
It's a new secret I have found

And I'm off solid grounds for you

A day without a broadband is simply evil

I forgot to bring broadband modem to workkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Workplace's internet sux!

Everything is blocked!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

*pulls hair*
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

This is 'day-without-internet' pulling my hair

Kids at Prison

SEAMEO delegates and I went to visit Prison School few days ago. It was okay, we were thoroughly checked up and down by the prison officer prior to getting into the prison. I couldn't bring anything other than myself and the clothes I was wearing. I couldn't bring the camera in.

We were introduced to the system of the prison and the types of offence committed by the detainees. Some that I remembered:

-Section 302 : First degree murder
-Section 376 / 377: First degree sexual offender

The uniform system in the juvenile prison:
-White shirt: less than 3 months
-Red shirt: 3-6 months
-Green shirt: 6-12 months
-Blue shirt: 12-15 months
-Dark blue shirt: excellent prisoner
-White shirt with red sleeve: capital punishment
-White shirt with blue stripes: escaped from police detainment before recaptured
-White shirt with green stripes: escaped from juvenile prison

etc.

I got to talk to them. They were nice kids, some of them are brilliant. They just need a second chance. Some of them come from families who simply do not care. An officer told us that sometimes, parents do not know that their kids were in prison until months later. And if they knew, they simply shunned away or ignored them. These kids, they have great artistic skill, it shows in their Skills class, where they have to produce t-shirts, mugs, calendars and designing stuff. Their classes are well-equipped and they get to go to class according to their ability instead of age. So a few managed to be undergraduates at the age of 17+. They were given as much attention as a caring parent would do. Honestly, these kids have better chance than kids outside the walls.

I am so disturbed since it's a kid's prison.

There is one case where this kid stole a can of Coke. The owner of the shop pressed charges and the bail out was RM1000. The kid's family was poor so they could not afford to bail him out. So he was sent to prison for one whole year.

Most of them come from low income families who cannot afford to bail them out.

I can't forget their eyes.

I can't forget the block where they stationed young criminals in death row. I saw white shirt with red sleeves hanging on the laundry lines outside the block and I knew that is one image I will never forget for the rest of my life.

I believe in second chance. Heck, third chance why not.

Intimidated

"And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgment"

Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice

It's impossible to be mad at you

No I don't remember
What brought us to this
What places we blindly passed
What turns we missed
When things really mattered
And we really cared
When simply being was easy
Just having you there

I was on a downslide, wasting my days
When I met you, I came to, such a lovely place
We laughed and cried our way through
The days and nights, the weeks and months
And all the seasons, ups and downs

Remind me of how, I used to feel
Remind me of who, I used to be back when
Nothing could come between us then
That thought would never leave us

'Cus I don't remember
Love needles in the hay
The life I knew by heart, and lived everyday
The secret codes and signs, you and I, and eye to eye
Wake me up, hurt me, you have to
I forgot how to cry

Remind me of how, I used to feel
Remind me of who, I used to be back when
Nothing could come between us then
That thought would never leave us
So remind me of how, I used to feel
Remind me of who, I used to be back when
Nothing could come between us then
That thought would never leave us when
Nothing could come between us then
That thought would never leave us

I miss you darlings

I wish I can take you boys with me here :'(

Eskimo

Eskimo

Oreo

Oreo

Shame on you

peeking into my life when the last thing you want to do is to get to know me
bwekkkkkkkkkk

Shit

Cant get it out of my mind
:'(
:'(
:'(

Were you that close?
Why didn't I see you?
What if I saw you?
Would you smile back at me?
Would you greet me with your eyes?
Would things be back like it never happened?

Can someone be happy and sad at the same time?

I've got your email.

I read it and read it over and over again.

Happy or sad or both I cant tell

Im writing this with your favourite colour

and by doing this I feel closer to you